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Monday 16 May 2016

'One Night'

This Week the 100 Word Challenge prompts were:   

Silence   Orange    Thunder    Pyjamas    Swam

I found it really difficult to write this 100 Word Challenge because we had to include all 5 words in our story.
I look forward to seeing your comments.

One night as I was wandering home from a long day of work, I came across a cat wearing orange spotted pyjamas. I was very confused why this cat was even wearing pyjamas.

I finally reached home. As soon as I walked into the house, there was 10 seconds of silence then, ‘BANG’ out of nowhere the house started filling up with water, but it was no ordinary coloured water, it was ‘Orange’!

By the time the house was completely full of water, we all swam out the window and into the terrifying thunder and lightning storm. 

I didn’t like the thought of this at all.
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5 comments:

  1. Imani17 May 2016 at 07:05

    Hello Laura,
    I LOVED this amazing piece of writing because you have got straight into the action. Good use of the 5 words!

    Next time, try and put your adverbs at the start of your sentence for example: Finally, I reached home. Now that I have put the adverb at the front its called a fronted adverbial this makes your writing tonnes better. Always remember to put your comma after your adverb.
    I really enjoyed reading this piece of AWESOME writing! Good Luck with the next 100wc!
    From Imani 6D.
    P,S please can you visit our blog http://ribbledriveprimary.net/yearsix2015/ maybe you can even leave a comment on my 100wc.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous17 May 2016 at 12:15

    I love the way you said the house filled with water

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 May 2016 at 12:16

      http://kereru-room3.blogspot.co.nz/2016/05/the-nether.html

      Delete
  3. Anonymous17 May 2016 at 13:30

    Hey Lulu!
    This is an amazing story! I really like the cat that was wearing ORANGE striped PYJAMAS. It was very funny! This story is very amusing and weird. Great job with your 100WC! Who was your favourite character?

    Bella,
    Rimu Class.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Allan Robertson18 May 2016 at 12:04

    Have you never seen a cast in pyjamas. My cat is demanding a dressing gown now that the weather is growing colder but that is a step to far. She would probably spill her cocoa in it. Don't be afraid to use an exclamation mark when something is to be emphasised.

    I look forward to your next 100 word challenge.

    ReplyDelete

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